No. 23 · The Selection · age 22
Stacy picks the name nobody knows
Chunky boots, a metallic top and a camera trained on strangers in doorways.
Available today Same night bookings are her speciality
- Age
- 22
- Height
- 176 cm · 5 ft 9 in
- Hair
- Long near-black brown
- Eyes
- Brown
- Figure
- Slim
- Languages
- English
- Home district
- Chelsea
Profile updated September 2026 · portraits checked in person
Behind the glass
Stacy chooses her nights out by reading the posters outside comedy venues and picking the one name she has never heard of. It usually works. Tall at 176 cm and slim, she has near-black brown hair that runs long past her shoulders and brown eyes that catch every light in a room; she stands out in any lobby and minds not at all. Her look is nightlife with an edge: a metallic top, black trousers, boots with a chunky heel.
Bold, spontaneous and a touch mischievous, she decides in seconds and almost never looks back. Early twenties, with a dry wit in English that works beautifully in a dark room. By day she walks the city with a camera, photographing strangers waiting in doorways; in winter she vanishes to the Alps with a snowboard. Stand-up is her favourite night out, and the rougher the new material, the happier she is.
For W1 she heads to Soho Theatre on Dean Street, a short walk south of Tottenham Court Road, where the basement room runs comedy late into the night and the acts are often testing jokes before a festival run. Her seat is always near the rear, the better to study the crowd as well as the act. Afterwards comes a drink on a crowded pavement and a lively debate about which joke will survive the month.
She lives in Chelsea and gets to Tottenham Court Road quickly by cab, whatever the hour. Short notice is welcome on most nights. Give booking a start time and she will pick the show.
Stacy's ladder
Whole pounds for whole hours, and the figure shown is the figure paid. Travel inside Zones 1 and 2 comes included; every term sits on the rates page.
| Length | Fee | Good for | Message |
|---|---|---|---|
| One hour60 min | £250 | A drink in the bar or an hour of talk upstairs | Ask |
| Ninety minutes90 min | £400 | Unhurried, with time for a second glass | Ask |
| Two hours2 hrs | £500 | Dinner nearby and the stroll back to your hotel | Ask |
| Three hours3 hrs | £700 | A show and a late supper, or a long night in | Ask |
| Dinner date4 hrs | £900 | Four hours built around a proper table | Ask |
| Overnight10 hrs | £1,800 | Ten hours, late evening through to breakfast | Ask |
| WeekendFri to Sun | On request | Priced around your plans by the desk | Ask |
Message ready
Fill the brackets, press send, and keep the room number back until the booking is confirmed.
Hello, I would like to book Stacy on [date] at [time] for [duration]. I am staying at [hotel name], and will share the room number on confirmation.
Stacy after dark
Nine o'clock, the late show, and she has booked seats at the back. She reads the act's name aloud and admits she has no idea who they are, which is exactly the point. Before the lights drop she photographs the queue outside, quickly and discreetly, and shows you a picture of a stranger that somehow sums up the whole night.
The comedian is either brilliant or dreadful, and she enjoys both equally. Afterwards she makes for a busy pavement bar where she can replay the best line and pick apart the worst. She has a gift for turning the people at the next table into part of the conversation. At midnight she might suggest one more bar or call it a night; she decides fast, and she is nearly always right.
Stacy, asked
One joke that dies completely, in total silence. It means they are trying something new, and the next one usually lands twice as hard.
People waiting. Bus stops, doorways, queues. Nobody poses while they are waiting, so you get the real face.
Snowboard. Skis look elegant, but falling off a board is funnier, and I like to laugh at myself, especially on the first run of the morning.
What guests wrote
This pane has no guest notes yet. They go up after genuine bookings only, once the desk has checked them; each carries a first name and when it was written, nothing explicit, and Stacy can ask for any of them to come off the glass.
- 6 min readArtesian hours: The Langham, where Regent Street turns into Portland PlaceLondon's first grand hotel sits where the shops give way to Portland Place. Three rooms downstairs, one famous bar, and how an evening there is timed from the first glass to the last.
- 5 min readDinner in Marylebone village, ten steps north of the West EndMarylebone Lane still follows the bends of a buried river. The village kitchens along it and up the High Street, how to choose one for a date, and how the evening is timed.
